Watching The View

Joan Rivers was the guest host on The View today. Joan was funny in her usual way, but her jokes don’t really translate to print well, since much of it is in her delivery. As a result, I won’t be able to fully recap all that she said. During a conversation about women dating younger men, Joan mentioned Ivana Trump who is with a younger man. Barbara Walters told her not to start with Ivana because she had “enough trouble with Donald (Trump) who used to be my friend and I miss him.” Really? Barbara misses Donald?

They talked about whether a child’s behavior should impact a presidential client. Al Gore’s son recently pled guilty to misdemeanor drug charges. Barbara thinks that people’s children should not be why you vote for them. Joy called George Bush’s daughters “the two alcoholic twins” and Elisabeth Hasselbeck shouted “That is so not true!” and then went on to talk about all their volunteer work. Joy said that the point she was trying to make was that while the Bush twins are seen as party girls, Al Gore’s son is seen as troubled. Barbara Walters said that the Bush twins are not party girls and that Joy was being unfair.

As I mentioned earlier today, the new View moderator will be named on Wednesday and will start their role on the show on the day after Labor Day.

ABC reporter Robin Roberts has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was detected early and she will be having surgery and treatment. Barbara sent out a touching message to her and wished her well.

Barbara said that they were going to move onto something else. Joan said “What is the opposite of intelligent and serious? Paris Hilton!” Paris sold her home and people are saying that she got more than she should because people may pay more because she is a celebrity. Joy joked, “The ceilings are low. You have to be on your knees to stay there.” The audience let out an audible groan of disapproval to the joke, followed by applause.

Barbara asked the table a question that she often uses at dinner parties at her house:
What do you like most about yourself and least about yourself?

Elisabeth: She likes that she is a mom and she dislikes that she is procrastinator, is disorganized and uses the word “like too often.”

Joan: She likes that she is a survivor and goes on ahead through problems and she is proud of her sexual prowess, including “tricks that she won’t even go into.” She dislikes that she is a liar and she is scared that her old nose will grow back from all the lying.

Joy: She regrets that she didn’t sleep with enough men and would have loved to travel England with Albert Finney. Barbara told her that she could never have been with Albert Finney. When Joy confronted her to why, Barbara, who had a rough time all morning feeling the need to apologize for all of Joan and Joy’s jokes, put her heads in hands and exasperatedly said, “I wish I could die.”

Barbara: She likes that she is a very good friend and keeps friends a long time. She dislikes that she cannot make up her mind about things.

George Lopez appeared on the show to promote his new movie Balls of Fury. His wife donated a kidney to him in 2005. Now he gives her anything that she wants. He jokes that since the transplant he pees sitting down.

George thinks that prime time television is scrapping the bottom of the barrel. He mentioned America’s Got Talent and said that they don’t. He said that he does not understand how Joey Fatone ended up hosting The Singing Bee, the number one show on TV, when he was “the fat guy in a boy band.”

He said that the title of his new movie Balls of Fury is so good that porn didn’t even think of it. It is about an FBI agent who recruits a ping pong champion to help him catch a bad guy played by Christopher Walken.

Alan Jackson’s wife Denise Jackson appeared on the show to promote her book It’s All About Him. She said that his success almost broke up their marriage. She was left behind to care for the children. She was often not allowed to sit near him at concerts so that he would appear single. She became very co-dependent and lost her sense of self. At one point Alan wanted a separation. Then Denise found God and she and Alan got back together.

Alan Jackson then sang a song also called “It’s All About Him” which was inspired by the book.

The View, Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Paris Hilton, Al Gore, Robin Roberts, Donald Trump, Ivana Trump, Denise Jackson, It’s All About Him